i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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