She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
