At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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