Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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