one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
