Is it normal to miss your booty call?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
