Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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