So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
