Having a random hookup so left but love u
we made out on top of his cat.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
