She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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