the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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