You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
