Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
