well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If I had your ass I would rule the world
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize