Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
