Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
