So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
