A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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