do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
