Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
