porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
