i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
