i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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