Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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