My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
