a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
