Me too!
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Randomize
