I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
