Your tits are I can't wait for
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
