adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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