She is in my trunk
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Randomize
