I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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