i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
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Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
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Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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