I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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