listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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