He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
