the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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