We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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