Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
