in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
