get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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