just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
