Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
