I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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