South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
