Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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