Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
