apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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