my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
