Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All I want is dick and wine.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
