I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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