You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
one might say we're banned from that church
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
