So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
