At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
