pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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