Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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