5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
