they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
