Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
love makes seman taste better
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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