i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
