Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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