Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
