i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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