I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
