the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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