so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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