it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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