***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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